Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff: Addicted Teens by Connect with Kids

Addicted Kids

Alcohol. Drugs. Cigarettes. Many kids will experiment with at least one of them, but what happens when experimentation becomes an addiction? And how can you reach your kids before it’s too late? ? “It’s not like parents are bad or they’re missing something,” says Dr. Vincent Ho, psychiatrist. “Kids are just really good at tricking people.”

Drinking, smoking and using drugs are not “just part of growing up.” Studies show that parents can influence the prevention of risky behaviors in their children. Learn what pressures your kids face at school, on the weekends and at parties. Teach them how to say no in a “cool” way – and stick to it. Understand from experts the warning signs of drug and alcohol abuse.

Watch Addicted Kids with your children to hear stories from real teens who have used drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. Learn from experts and parents “who have been there” as they offer solutions that really work.

“If you don’t talk about this with your child, it’s probably going to happen again and again. And, it’s probably going to get worse.” – Dr. Alexandra Phipps, psychologist

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

The Secret Life of Kids: What Your Kids Are Doing Shouldn’t Be a Mystery

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet? Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Loving your kids is easy. Parenting Teenagers is hard!

Parents today face very real and sometimes frightening concerns about their children’s lives. As they get older, your kids have their own interests, problems, even their own language. So what's the key to parenting?

You could buy a book…but your child probably won’t read it. You could search the Internet for advice, and ask other parents. Those are good options, but there's one that's even better for parenting teenagers: reality-based DVDs for kids and parents to watch and learn together. Parents don’t typically think of buying a DVD to help them with the issues their children or a problem teenager faces, but this is powerful positive television programming produced by the Emmy® award-winning Connect With Kids team.

Build Your Own Library

We have a complete library of half-hour programs devoted to parenting teenagers and kids, all related to social, emotional and physical health. These aren’t lectures or scare tactics strictly about how to deal with a problem teenager; they’re true stories of real kids facing issues like drugs, drinking, STDs, obesity, racism, peer pressure, body image, bullying, and more.

These powerful stories are unscripted, unrehearsed and told in kids’ own words, so your children will easily relate to them without feeling defensive, embarrassed, pressured or talked down to. The kids' stories are supported with interviews and advice from leading child specialists, health experts, educators and counselors.

Watching together is a great way to start talking with your kids. Each 30-minute video is only $19.95, and comes with a Viewing Guide with facts, suggested conversation starters and professional advice. To order, visit our products page.

As a Parent Advocate, Connect with Kidsoffers a great number of informational articles, DVD's, video's and more to help parents understand today's kids.
Learn more about Parent's Universal Resource Experts.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Teens and Vandalism by Sue Scheff

Teens and Vandalism

The US Department of Justice defines vandalism as “willful or malicious destruction, injury, disfigurement, or defacement of any public or private property.” Vandalism can encompass many different acts, including graffiti, public unrest, rioting, and other types of criminal mischief, like breaking windows or arson. Even seemingly harmless pranks like egging and toilet papering homes are considered vandalism in most states.

Unfortunately, many acts of vandalism may go unnoticed in the home, because teens can easily avoid bringing any evidence back with them. This is why it is of particular importance that parents make an effort to know where their teens are at all times. Keeping an open dialogue with your teen about his schedule and friends can help you to better keep tabs on him. A teen that knows his parents care is more likely to avoid criminally mischievous behaviors in the first place.
If you suspect your teen is engaging in vandalism, don’t be afraid to discuss your fears with your teen. While again, it is important to not be accusatory, you should leave no doubt in your teen’s mind that you believe any act of vandalism- big or small- is wrong.

Often, teens think vandalism is a ‘victimless crime’; in other words, they don’t believe they’re hurting anyone by spray painting graffiti on a brick building, or tossing a few eggs at a neighbor’s car. This kind of thinking is your perfect segue into teaching your teen just how wrong vandalism can be. When your teen defiantly tells you that “nobody got hurt,” explain to them that by spray-painting the façade of his high school, they costs the taxpayers (including you) money to have the graffiti covered and the crime investigated. Remind them that the money for these repairs has to come from somewhere, and that every dollar wasted to fix vandalism is a dollar that must now be cut from somewhere else.

Maybe the school will have one less dance, or will be forced to cut out arts programs or programs for under privileged students. If your teen has been egging homes, point out the waste of food that some families cannot even afford. Remind them that someone will have to scrape the dried egg off your neighbor’s windshield, possibly making him late for work, costing him time and money.

Read more about Criminal Mischief with Teens - Click Here.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Television and Violence by Connect with Kids

I think when people play video games and people watch videos and they see violence a lot, it just becomes natural to them and it just doesn't seem bad anymore, and it really is.”

– Donovan, 15

New research about the influence of media violence on children may offer a startling new way to predict who will grow up to be a violent adult: find out how much violence on television and in the movies children watched when they were 6, 8 or 10 years old.

When they watch television, movies and video games, Benford and his buddies are impressed by the violence.

“I just think it’s pretty cool -- blow up somebody,” says Benford, 16.

“Just stuck him on a hook and it came through the stomach,” says Seth, 15.

“And his guts go everywhere,” says Benford.

How powerful is media violence? Researchers at the University of Michigan have been tracking more than 800 children for more than 40 years. They started in 1960 and they found that the more young children were exposed to media violence, the more likely they were to end up as violent adults. In fact, media violence was a better predictor of later crime and violence than poverty, substance abuse or even abusive parents.

“Television is on in the average American home about eight hours a day. At the same time, people are engaged in what we call interpersonal familial conversations with one another for about four minutes a day. So where are they getting their messages? Clearly they’re getting their messages from the media,” says Art Silverblatt, PhD, professor of communications.

Experts say the message is that violence is normal.

“They become desensitized to aggression and violence. And I think that the more they’re exposed to it as well, the more they’re likely to use that form of behavior to solve problems,” says Jennifer Kelly, Ph.D., psychologist.

“I think when people play video games and people watch videos and they see violence a lot, it just becomes natural to them and it just doesn’t seem bad anymore, and it really is,” says Donovan, 15.

Experts say parents can’t eliminate all media violence in a child’s life, but they can use a violent scene to teach kids about the reality of it.

“Talk about what you think happened to that person’s family … the mourning that occurred and how the parents or somebody else’s life could be changed as a result of this aggressive violent act,” says Kelly.

Tips for Parents

Advice from the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF):
Limit game-playing time to no more than one hour per day.

Play with your child to become familiar with the games.

Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.

Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.

Do not put a video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.

Talk about the content of the games.

Ask your video store to require parental approval before a violently rated video game can be rented by children.

When buying video games for your child, it is important to purchase games targeted to his/her age group. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:

EC – Early Childhood (3 and older)
E – Everyone (6 and older)
E10+ – Everyone (10 and older)
T – Teens (13 and older)
M – Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO – Adults Only
RP – Rating Pending

Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike, as well as which games they let your child play when he/she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing. (ESRB)

Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like him/her, purchase games with characters that fit the bill. (ESRB)

References

National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF)
The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB)

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Positive Peer Pressure by Connect with Kids

“Peer pressure is not always bad. It can be very good. It can be encouraging. Sometimes a person may not want to choose hi-risk behaviors and may not want to do the wrong thing because they know their friends aren’t into that.”

– Dr. Marilyn Billingsly, pediatrician

It’s conventional wisdom that peer pressure is a powerful force in the lives of kids, especially teenagers. A new University study reminds us that while peer pressure can push kids into risky behavior, it can also help kids do the right thing.

Alex Shillinger is in court facing drug charges. He says he was “worn down” by peer pressure to try marijuana.

“There were constantly people telling me, ‘Come on, just try it, just one time, it’ll be fine,’” says Alex, 18.

On the other hand, because of peer pressure, Ambra says she’s never done drugs or alcohol or had sex.

“Being around people like that, just like myself, it keeps me motivated,” says Ambra, 17.

Peers can be powerful influences, for both good and bad behavior. A new study from the University of Southern California found that kids were less likely to use drugs if they were in a substance abuse program taught by other kids.

“Peer pressure is not always bad. It can be very good. It can be encouraging. Sometimes a person may not want to choose high risk behaviors and may not want to do the wrong thing because they know their friends aren’t into that,” says Dr. Marilyn Billingsly, pediatrician.

Of course, it depends on the friends -- and parents have little control over that.

“I think it makes it even more important for parents to know their kids’ friends and the parents of their kids' friends and monitor what’s going on with the group of friends,” Dr. Carol Drummond, Ph.D., psychologist.

If you suspect that one of your child’s friends is using drugs, experts say to make your views on drugs loud and clear and tell your child you’re worried.

“Sometimes your kid will come back and say, ‘Listen, Mom, I know he’s drinking, doing drugs; I am not doing that.’ But at least you’ve gotten a chance to plant that message that you’ve got worries. You’ve got to watch your own child. And if you feel like you have some concern that your child is making bad decisions, then you need to act aggressively,” says Dr. Judy Wolman, Ph.D., psychologist,

Tips for Parents

Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For example, positive peer pressure can be used to pressure bullies into acting better toward other kids. If enough kids get together, peers can pressure each other into doing what's right. (Nemours Foundation)

Some good behaviors that friends can pressure each other to do include: be honest, be nice, exercise, avoid alcohol, respect others, avoid drugs, work hard, don’t smoke. (National Institutes of Health, NIH)

You and your friends can pressure each other into some things that will improve your health and social life and make you feel good about your decisions. (NIH)

References

National Institutes of Health (NIH)

Kids Still Using Drugs by Connect with Kids

“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of … drugs.”
– Ebony, high school student

The billions of dollars spent on the war against drugs may have increased awareness and saved lives in this country, but the totalnumber of kids who use tobacco, alcohol and drugs is still staggering. A new Federal report showing how many kids begin experimenting every day is startling.

Every single day in America, 8,000 teenagers have their first drink; 4,000 try their first cigarette. More than 3,600 smoke marijuana for the first time, and 4,000 are introduced to inhalants, cocaine, methamphetamine and other drugs.

That’s just today; at midnight the count begins all over again.

“For a lot of kids, it’s just the opening up of adolescence. Suddenly they have money; they have disposable income. They have new peer groups that they are trying to measure up to,” says Armando Corpus, drug treatment counselor.

Ebony Marie was one teen trying to measure up.

“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of drugs,” says White.

At 13, Ebony started smoking cigarettes and then moved on to marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, and finally, methamphetamines. Within a few months she was a drug addict.

“I am [a drug addict] and I know I am because I love drugs,” says Ebony.

Experts say that a teen’s first experience with drugs or alcohol makes the decision to use drugs again a lot easier.

“There is a line that you cross, at least psychologically, that this is something I do; at least, this is something I experiment with,” says Corpus.

He says too many parents surrender to the philosophy that teen experimentation is inevitable, and then they are surprised.

“I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve come across who say, ‘All I knew was that he was smoking marijuana once in a while. I didn’t know he was doing cocaine. I didn’t know he was doing methamphetamine,’” says Corpus.

Now in recovery, Ebony has been off drugs for several months. She hopes forever.

“Because it doesn’t get you anywhere but jails, institutions and death,” says Ebony.

Tips for Parents

To help prevent your child from using illegal substances or turning to prescription drugs to get high, it's a good idea to begin discussing substance abuse with your child at an early age, and continue openly communicating about the issues as your child grows. (Nemours Foundation)

Take advantage of "teachable moments." If you and your child see a character on TV or in a movie who is smoking or using an illegal substance, talk to your child about what smoking and substance abuse does to a person's body, mind, life. (Nemours Foundation)

When your child becomes a teenager, you can address the issue in a more direct way. Talk about both the more immediate and the long-term health effects of substance abuse and tell your child where you stand. (Nemours Foundation)

If you suspect that your child may be abusing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) medicines or painkillers, it's a good idea to: (Nemours Foundation)

Lock your medicine cabinet, or keep medicines that could potentially be abused in a less accessible place.

Avoid stockpiling medicines. Having too many at your teen's disposal could make abusing them more tempting.

Keep track of how much is in each container in your medicine cabinet.

Keep an eye out not only for traditional-looking cough and cold remedies in your teen's room, but also strange-looking tablets.

Monitor your child's Internet usage. Be on the lookout for suspicious websites and emails that seem to be promoting the abuse of drugs, both legal and illegal.

It's also important to provide a warm and open environment at home where your child is encouraged to talk about feelings, and knows that he or she can bring you tricky questions and concerns without fear of judgment and punishment. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.