Source: Shoulder to Shoulder
Most parents and teens do battle, and these "power struggles" test everyone's patience. You casually ask your daughter if she is going to wear that shirt, and she retorts, "Don't freak out mom!" What's a parent to do? While these challenges are a normal part of every day life with teens, there are steps to take to avoid (or at least reduce) the "freak out" route.
STAY COOL.If we overreact or lose our cool, we diminish our control with teens and escalate the conflict. Parents show they are in charge by staying calm and dealing with an issue even-handedly. (Yes, it's easier said than done.)
STICK TO THE GROUND RULES.Decide on a few non-negotiable rules. These can be as simple as "no television until homework is finished," or "put dirty clothes in the hamper." When a teen pushes back, don't argue over details or negotiate. Simply say, "Sorry, that is against the family rules." Teens will try and outwit us or start an argument. Don't over-explain, and don't renegotiate. Just remind them of the rule.
IGNORE THE "SMALL STUFF."Many conflicts are not worth your time and energy. Does it really matter if their bedroom is clean for a sleepover? Would it be the end of the world if they play one more CD? Probably not. The key to successful parenting is to know which battles are worth tackling. Concentrate only on those issues that genuinely need your attention to protect your teen's well-being.
KNOW WHEN TO LET IT GO.Conflict carries different meanings and feelings for parents and teens. When teens blow up about something we feel is "insignificant," teens tend to forget about the issue soon afterwards. For us, the tension can linger and make us more upset. Sometimes, we just have to let it go. Learn to ignore the "attitude," the flip remark or the threat of disobedience from your teen.
Read the entire article: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Avoid_Freak_out/
Most parents and teens do battle, and these "power struggles" test everyone's patience. You casually ask your daughter if she is going to wear that shirt, and she retorts, "Don't freak out mom!" What's a parent to do? While these challenges are a normal part of every day life with teens, there are steps to take to avoid (or at least reduce) the "freak out" route.
STAY COOL.If we overreact or lose our cool, we diminish our control with teens and escalate the conflict. Parents show they are in charge by staying calm and dealing with an issue even-handedly. (Yes, it's easier said than done.)
STICK TO THE GROUND RULES.Decide on a few non-negotiable rules. These can be as simple as "no television until homework is finished," or "put dirty clothes in the hamper." When a teen pushes back, don't argue over details or negotiate. Simply say, "Sorry, that is against the family rules." Teens will try and outwit us or start an argument. Don't over-explain, and don't renegotiate. Just remind them of the rule.
IGNORE THE "SMALL STUFF."Many conflicts are not worth your time and energy. Does it really matter if their bedroom is clean for a sleepover? Would it be the end of the world if they play one more CD? Probably not. The key to successful parenting is to know which battles are worth tackling. Concentrate only on those issues that genuinely need your attention to protect your teen's well-being.
KNOW WHEN TO LET IT GO.Conflict carries different meanings and feelings for parents and teens. When teens blow up about something we feel is "insignificant," teens tend to forget about the issue soon afterwards. For us, the tension can linger and make us more upset. Sometimes, we just have to let it go. Learn to ignore the "attitude," the flip remark or the threat of disobedience from your teen.
Read the entire article: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Avoid_Freak_out/
